Tuesday, November 30, 2004

League Cup and Record

I just watched Chelsea against Fulham which was a decent game. Fulham played a lot better than they did against Birmingham when I watched them and deserved for the game to go into extra time. Watford did well to claim a shock 3-0 win over Portsmouth.

I must also mention East Stirling's performance at the weekend. They drew 0-0 away to Queen's Park (at the home of Scottish football, Hampden Park, I think) in Scottish League Division 3. This may not sound an amazing result but Queen's Park are 3rd in the division with East Stirling 10th and bottom (bit like our quiz team). So what, you're thinking. This was East Stirling's first clean sheet in 89 games. So you think you have a bad football team, surely they aren't that bad!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Sport Or Not? and Football Round-up

Sport or not? All these have appeared on Sky Sports recently.

Snooker - Yes - Both my brother and I are too injured to play snooker at the moment.

Darts - Yes - Andy 'The Viking' Fordham pulled out of the challenge with Phil 'The Power' Taylor as he was too hot in the venue and couldn't breathe. Fitness problems again.

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) - No - Greco roman wrestling is a sport. This is not as it is all staged and as it's name suggests, is just entertainment.

Poker - No - No no no no no. It's a game.

Any arguments please comment.

I've watched loads of football this weekend. Blackburn looked very impressive against Fulham and seem to be getting out of trouble at the bottom of the Premiership. Newcastle against Everton was also a good match and the draw was the fair result. Everton are still overachieving in 3rd though.

Chelsea are now looking unstoppable going 5 points clear yesterday. Arsenal were so poor today it was unbelievable that it's the same team that went 49 games unbeaten just 9 games ago. 3 great goals and spectacular end to the game with Neil Mellor grabbing a deserved Liverpool winner in the 2nd minute of injury time.

In the week ahead it's some London (not sure which bit) derby between Chelsea and Fulham and Man Utd. versus Arsenal in the League Cup. At the weekend I will be attending The Shay where Halifax entertain Chester in the 2nd Round of the FA Cup after their big win over Cambridge Utd. in the last round. Chester are managed the person I modelled my game on - Ex Liverpool legendary striker Ian Rush, so it'll be nice to see him in person.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

A Bit Of Light Relief

On QI last night there were some very bad jokes. But they are often the best. Here's a few of them:

What's brown and sticky?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
What's red and stupid?
Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Answers at the bottom of the post.

Now for a story from the local weekly paper - The Brighouse Echo. I think they must've been a bit desperate for news. There were 2 pages on the Christmas lights switch on by Bernard Manning and whether or not he was suitable for the town and the following article which reached the side column on the front page:-

"Painful Problem

A RED faced Brighouse man had to be helped by firefighters when a metal ring became stuck on a delicate part of his body.
The man in his mid 50's, initially sought help at Huddersfield Royal Infirmary in the early hours of Tuesday morning when he couldn't remove the ring from his penis. He told Elland firefighters, who were called to remove the ring, he had been fooling around with his wife when the ring became stuck.
'It caused him discomfort and he was embarrassed' said a fire spokesman.
A junior hacksaw was used to remove the ring."

You've got to love the comment from the fire spokesman!

In my monthly Accounting Technician magazine there was an advert for a training college asking to "Enroll now". Erm not sure they'll be getting the extra mark available for correct spelling and grammar!

Speaking of bad grammar I saw a sign outside a pub this week saying "Book now for X'mas". It looked very wrong so I looked into it and found the following:-

What does the X stand for in Xmas?
The familiar abbreviation for Christmas originated with the Greeks. X is the first letter of the Greek word for Christ, Xristos.

So this (in my opinion) means the apostrophe is right but just looks wrong.

So the joke punchlines, if you didn't already know are:-

What's brown and sticky? A brown stick
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
What's red and stupid? A blood clot
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi

Sunday, November 21, 2004


My first week at work seemed to go ok. They are giving me more difficult work to do than i'm used to but I like a challenge and i'm sure it will help my experience.

On Friday night Rosie, Kate, JJ and I went to Huddersfield for a night out. After no more than three drinks, I decided to leapfrog bollards. They didn't appear unleapable however on my first leap, the bottom by back (my arse) landed on the bollard. I fear severe bruising of the coccyx is the diagnosis as it still hurts to sit down 48 hours later. Apart from that it was a good night and they all slept at my house for the first time. We had to get up very early on Saturday though which no-one was very pleased about. I went back to bed so wasn't too fussed :-)

Against my better judgement, I went into Halifax with Rob last night and felt very drunk but didn't drink a lot. I'm putting this down to tiredness and pain. It's the first time I can remember having to go home before him so I must've been in a bit of state.

I woke up this afternoon to find two missed calls on my phone from Phil (my brother) who had gone for a poker night about a mile away. He said he had phoned me on the off chance i wasn't drunk because while he was de-icing his car (at 1:00am) he had accidentally locked himself out, with the engine running so he wanted me to take his spare keys to him. Instead he had to run home and back while his mate stood by his car ensuring no-one stole it. Thought this was quite funny and it lightened my mood after I was feeling quite down yesterday.

It snowed on Thursday but that's normal as it's November. Not really a fan of the stuff but then i guess it looks nice. I would like it to warm up a bit though. Brrrr.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Time to Update - Part 4 - New Job

The new job is going ok so far but i'm only two days into it so it's a bit early to say how good it is.

What with everything else that's been going on, I almost forgot to write my acceptance letter so I did that on Wednesday night and hand delivered it. This meant I missed extra time in the football. We had friends over on Sunday so I couldn't watch all of that and then when I finally did tune in, I fell asleep and missed all the goals! Hopefully i'll see all of Spain vs England tomorrow.

Update complete. Well done if you read it all.

Time to Update - Part 3 - Nottingham

After leaving work at lunchtime on Friday, I visited Ed along with Kate and JJ and was excellently driven there by Rosie. We went for a curry with about 23 others. The curry was very big and sweet so I couldn't manage it all. Then we all went back to Ed's house and drunk lots. There was a nice cocktail which, as informed when Rosie was washing up on Sunday is the only use the washing-up bowl gets.

After about 3 hours sleep I woke up hungover and stayed like that for about 6 hours. After a pub breakfast (more like lunch) the 9 of us remaining went ice skating. This was fun though I found standing up properly difficult so was tending to weirdly bend my ankles whilst skating. This resulted in them swelling and aching. I also fell on the area leaving the ice and my knee is a purply black colour and have huge blisters but it was still fun.

Soon after there was just 5 of us, and we played Jenga (which I lost at once), and a card game, Uno (which I lost at once but was less than impressed with John's rule changing and pleased to see him lose the next game). The same pub as earlier was visited for the evening meal. Then we played pool. Regular readers will know I like to play pool (especially win). Sadly I only won one game as John proved superior to me in game one. This was nice in a way as i've not played against anyone who looked like beating me since July. In game two I beat Ed even after potting the white 4 times and playing like an ass. In game three all was going to plan until the black went in. Don't think Rosie will be letting me forget that in a hurry. Watched Pulp Fiction. Went to bed. Got up. Went home.

Not seen a full football match for a couple of weeks now. Why? Part 4 has the answer!

Time to Update - Part 2 - Final Week at Work

After the weekend in Scarborough it was my final week at work because I handed my notice in on Monday and they said I could leave at the end of the week (as was originally planned - see earlier post).

I am now working at a firm of accountants in Huddersfield who may continue my training further down the line and the journey is also much better (about 40 minutes quicker). My final week was very sad as most people told me it was probably better for me but not for the firm.

When I handed my notice in the guys on our table made a comedy list of who to replace me. Sarah Michelle Gellar, Charlotte Church and Grotbags were all on the list which ended up having 50 names on! On my final day, I was the most senior member of staff there (technically anyway) as everyone else was on a course. So as it was a special occasion, a Hearts Championship was formed. A new record was set by Edward (a company record) of 2 which was almost matched by me in the next game but the buggers gave me the queen. Anyway, I finished top of the table at lunchtime which means I retire as champion.

I'd just like to say a big thank you to Eppy, Paul, and Edward for a good game and those 3 and Kate and David for helping make my employment there as enjoyable as possible. Oh and to the only 2 senior members of staff not to wish me well who were both responsible for my training I'd like to

The above text has been censored.

Scarborough Sea Life Centre

Scarborough Sea Life Centre
Originally uploaded by beansport88.

Olivers Mount

Olivers Mount
Originally uploaded by beansport88.
This looks a bit like a volcano. But it's not. Motorcycle races are held there often.

Scarborough Castle

Scarborough Castle
Originally uploaded by beansport88.

Time to Update - Part 1

I feel i've been neglecting readers recently so instead of posting one big chunk I'm going to post loads of times in an attempt to make it more interesting and readable.

A couple of weekends ago I went to Scarborough for a quiet break. Just went for a couple of walks. The first one involved losing £6.34 in 2ps at the amusements and all the winnings as well. This took over an hour but I feel I should get less addicted! Still they were only 2ps.

The second walk took my brother and I to the top of a hill behind a derelict "Fun Park" where the following pictures were taken. This may take the form of a few posts as I don't really know what i'm doing but here goes!

Friday, November 05, 2004

Quiz Winner!

On Tuesday it was the annual BADCASS quiz. I left work at 6:00 (very busy) and arrived to find the venue almost empty. That was all the teams that were there - 4. My work had one team and another firm had three teams. In a very closely fought quiz we came out as winners getting 64 out of 100. 4th place got 59 so it was quite exciting. My prize was 4 bottles of Bud with a pint glass.

Huddersfield lost 6-3 after extra time on Tuesday night so let's not dwell on that much. Interesting to hear about Hornchurch (dubbed the non-league Chelsea) after their financial backing company went bust so they have had to release all their players. Doesn't look like they'll be staying top of the league for long and could get pummelled in the FA Cup 1st round.

Had to work until 6:15 on Wednesday which impressed me even less than Tuesday. Hopefully things will be sorted with my satisfaction soon though.

Off to Scarborough tomorrow for a couple of days so i'll have to have a footballless (ooh a made up word with 3 consecutive letters) weekend.